It may be unknown to some of you, but I have the ability to be a smart ass. On Christmas Eve, I think my mouth almost got me arrested.
Bike Boy didn't get his Christmas shopping done, so I stupidly agree to take him to X-Mart. Off he goes shopping on his own, I wander around the store for awhile. I'm hungry... really hungry, so I decided to get some food at the McX fast food joint in the store. I rarely eat this type of food but I'm really, really, REALLY hungry.
It was crowded, with lots of people waiting for their food. I just placed my order when a guy starts talking to me. It's not just chatting type conversation...he's hitting on me. Even the EYE ROLL didn't stop him. He continues to go on about my eyes, smile, this and that, blah, blah, blah.
As I hand the girl cashier my money, he tells me his name is Steven and informs me he is not a weirdo (hmm, why does he feel the need to tell me that?). My response is "I'm not worried, I carry a gun."
Now that seems to me like a smart ass but fairly harmless comment. Sadly, I didn't realize the teenage cashier wasn't really listening to Steven's comments but she heard my comment LOUD AND CLEAR. And of course, I happened to say it while she had the money drawer open.
Suddenly the cashier hits the deck. Down on the ground she goes, hiding under the open cash drawer. Hmm, I think, that's kind of weird. I watch her for a bit, then I lean over the counter and asked her if I can have my change. She peeks up at me, then she looks around, realizing there is no gun waving around, no one else on the floor, no screams of panic or demands for money. She starts picking up my change, which she dropped when she went down. She gets up, sort of sweating and wild-eyed, hands me my money and food and wishes me a good day.
During all of this, Steven has disappeared.
I sit down and eat the goo. My brain starts to wake up from the starvation coma and I realize this girl thought I was robbing them. I'm probably lucky I didn't have a SWAT team with loaded guns drawn, sneaking up on me while I was eating.
Bike Boy then found me, I told him what happened. His comment: Sheesh, Mom, the guy was probably just trying to be nice (Image it in a tone of voice that says "your soo old, Steven was doing you a FAVOR by hitting on you")
At home, I tell my dad what happened. His comment: "You sure don't know how to take a complement....and you're lucky you didn't get arrested."
I think he's right.
15 comments:
That chick behind the register must be new to the Valley; she's not yet used to pistol-packin' women.
And what? You go around posting pics of your legs on the Internet, and writing comments on my blog about not wearing anything under your pogies, and you're surprised when a guy hits on you?!
You're lucky that male riders aren't following you around on the trails!
Sounds like a scene from "Tommy Boy".
No more comments about your legs or you being hot from me. I don't want to get an A-hole between my eyes.
"I don't want to get an A-hole between my eyes."
WTF?
Michelle & Tim:
Gun packin' ladies who comment about their smokin' legs on other bike blogs? And I thought the City of Big Shoulders was a wild place ...
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Meaning I don't want to get shot.
You have HOT legs ... and yes, I am wierd. :-)
LOL that is a good story. Serves you right for eating McX food
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Tim: you know what they say about Alaskan guys: the odds are good, but the Goods are odd. Any guy who hits on adult woman in McX's doesn't present himself as a "good catch" to me. And I'm not fishing.
Don't worry, Chris, I haven't shot anyone in awhile. Ever see the movie "Mr. Brooks"??
Wheelman: no comments on other's blogs about my legs. Just a comment about wearing nothing under my pogies because my HANDS get too hot! Purely innocent, but with these guys, things seem to spontaniously de-evolve into something else :)
Dano: I haven't seen that movie
Beer guy: ugh, the unknown side effects of eating McGoo. Are you still on the pain killers?? Ha! You must not have seen the last leg picture. Maybe I should repost it. No, it's too disturbing and I just can't do it.
You have to be pretty confident in yourself to try to pick up women with a Mc-X uniform on!
Maybe you should've pistol whipped him!
Anywhere else but AK.....you'd probably been in jail for a few hours.
As far as posting pics of your legs......
I *wish* I had legs as good as yours:-)
Don't all women in Alaska carry guns?
How else do you fend off the bears, caribou, and weirdo at Mcd's?
You see what happens when you say the wrong thing. Good thing you didn't say "gay" or "abortion". Imagine the consequences of that.
Glad to hear you were not arrested for that let alone stuck in some ridiculous hostage scenario! A reminder to us all that we need to watch what we "say" in public I guess.
Sorry that you had to eat at Micky D's; that is the sadest part of this whole story! :^)
Have a Happy New Year!
I know, I know, the shame of eating at McX's.
Donut Guy: be careful what you wish for :)
Pistol whipping is not allowed, per my Non-Violent Crisis Intervention training. However, they did not have a course on "smart ass comments NOT to make"
I love this story!!
I emailed you! Finally!
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