It may be unknown to some of you, but I have the ability to be a smart ass. On Christmas Eve, I think my mouth almost got me arrested.
Bike Boy didn't get his Christmas shopping done, so I stupidly agree to take him to X-Mart. Off he goes shopping on his own, I wander around the store for awhile. I'm hungry... really hungry, so I decided to get some food at the McX fast food joint in the store. I rarely eat this type of food but I'm really, really, REALLY hungry.
It was crowded, with lots of people waiting for their food. I just placed my order when a guy starts talking to me. It's not just chatting type conversation...he's hitting on me. Even the EYE ROLL didn't stop him. He continues to go on about my eyes, smile, this and that, blah, blah, blah.
As I hand the girl cashier my money, he tells me his name is Steven and informs me he is not a weirdo (hmm, why does he feel the need to tell me that?). My response is "I'm not worried, I carry a gun."
Now that seems to me like a smart ass but fairly harmless comment. Sadly, I didn't realize the teenage cashier wasn't really listening to Steven's comments but she heard my comment LOUD AND CLEAR. And of course, I happened to say it while she had the money drawer open.
Suddenly the cashier hits the deck. Down on the ground she goes, hiding under the open cash drawer. Hmm, I think, that's kind of weird. I watch her for a bit, then I lean over the counter and asked her if I can have my change. She peeks up at me, then she looks around, realizing there is no gun waving around, no one else on the floor, no screams of panic or demands for money. She starts picking up my change, which she dropped when she went down. She gets up, sort of sweating and wild-eyed, hands me my money and food and wishes me a good day.
During all of this, Steven has disappeared.
I sit down and eat the goo. My brain starts to wake up from the starvation coma and I realize this girl thought I was robbing them. I'm probably lucky I didn't have a SWAT team with loaded guns drawn, sneaking up on me while I was eating.
Bike Boy then found me, I told him what happened. His comment: Sheesh, Mom, the guy was probably just trying to be nice (Image it in a tone of voice that says "your soo old, Steven was doing you a FAVOR by hitting on you")
At home, I tell my dad what happened. His comment: "You sure don't know how to take a complement....and you're lucky you didn't get arrested."
I think he's right.